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About Social Anxiety

About Social Anxiety

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How to Talk to Someone with Anxiety

February 18, 2018 by Arlin Cuncic, M.A.

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*This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you choose to purchase through links I provide (at no extra cost to you). Please see my disclosure policy. If you need help finding a mental health professional, call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit BetterHelp to chat with a licensed therapist for an affordable price.

The Best Things to Say When Someone Is Anxious

Have you ever not known how to talk to someone with anxiety? This list of 69 ideas of what to say to someone with social anxiety helps you offer support, be a good listener, acknowledge that mental health is a real issue, and test that waters a bit to explore the negative thoughts that underlie social anxiety in your friend or family member.

Below is a list of 100 ideas of how to talk to someone with anxiety or what to say to someone with social anxiety.

    1. This must be hard for you.
    2. It’s not your fault.
    3. I am sorry you are going through this.
    4. Tell me more about how you are feeling.
    5. It’s okay that you have to cancel, we can try to meet up another time.
    6. Would you like to make plans just the two of us, instead of as a group?
    7. I am here if you need me.
    8. How can I help?
    9. What are you feeling right now?
    10. Would you like to go for a walk?
    11. Take your time.
    12. Would you like to talk?
    13. Let’s work through this together.
    14. I know it feels bad now, but this feeling will pass.
    15. I know you are not making this up.
    16. I know that your anxiety is outside your control.
    17. I love you no matter what.
    18. Is there something we can do together that would be less overwhelming?
    19. I want to know how I can best support you.
    20. I know you have a real illness.
    21. I know you can’t control how you feel.
    22. I care about you and want to help.
    23. You are important to me.
    24. It might not seem like it now, but how you feel is going to change.
    25. You are not alone, I am here for you.
    26. Talk to me, I will listen.
    27. I can’t really understand how you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.
    28. I am not going to abandon you.
    29. I am sorry you are feeling this pain.
    30. Thank you for telling me how you feel.
    31. I am proud of you for seeking help.

(*Note: We all know social anxiety can be hard to manage. This book on Amazon is the best I have found to deal directly with the problem. Listen for free with your 30-day trial of Audible.)

  1. You are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself.
  2. Have you seen your doctor?
  3. Maybe we should schedule a visit with the doctor.
  4. It won’t always be like this.
  5. You are a strong person and will get through this.
  6. You don’t need to apologize to me for your illness.
  7. You are worthwhile.
  8. There is treatment that could help you.
  9. You will get through this somehow.
  10. There is still hope.
  11. Life won’t stay this way forever.
  12. Let’s go do something fun.
  13. I know someone who has been through this.
  14. I am here to listen.
  15. How did your appointment with your doctor go?
  16. Can I get you anything?
  17. Whatever happens, we will figure it out.
  18. I’m here if you want to talk about what’s upsetting you.
  19. Want to grab a bite to eat?
  20. Do you want to be alone or should I stay?
  21. I am proud that you stepped outside your comfort zone.
  22. I believe you.
  23. Would you like to go for a drive?
  24. I’m sorry you are struggling with this.
  25. It’s okay to feel this way.
  26. Do you need me to do anything?
  27. I can tell you feel overwhelmed.
  28. Don’t give up.
  29. I’m not going anywhere.
  30. I have all the time in the world.
  31. Talk to me about what’s going through your mind.
  32. You are not crazy.
  33. You will always have me.
  34. We don’t need to talk.
  35. I hope you can come, but understand if you can’t.
  36. Take your time.
  37. I am proud of you for doing this.
  38. I know you are trying.
  39. How can I make you feel better?
  40. Let’s go get some fresh air.
  41. How you are feeling is temporary.
  42. Do you want some space?
  43. You’re not a burden.
  44. I know you are scared.
  45. Let’s watch something funny on TV.
  46. It’s okay.
  47. I am with you.
  48. Can we look at this a different way?
  49. I believe you can overcome your fears.
  50. I would like to help you face your fears.
  51. Let’s do something fun to celebrate you facing your fears.
  52. I am here, you are safe.
  53. Let’s change the ending you see in your mind.
  54. Do you have calming strategies you can use?
  55. I’ve noticed you don’t seem like yourself.
  56. Do you want me to contact a therapist?
  57. I think you are capable of this, even if you don’t.
  58. How have you gotten through this before?
  59. Is there anyone who could help you?
  60. Anxiety is uncomfortable but not dangerous.
  61. What do you think is going to happen next?
  62. Tell me the worst thing that could happen.
  63. Remember when you made it through this before?
  64. You can do this.
  65. You are powerful.
  66. You are brave.
  67. How likely is it that things will go as badly as you expect?
  68. How many times have you gone through this?
  69. I believe in you.

Do you have any other suggestions on how to talk to someone with anxiety? Or are you someone with social anxiety and have been on the receiving end of a particularly helpful thing that was said? I’d love to hear your suggestions on how to talk to someone with anxiety in the comments.

Related Articles about Social Anxiety

  • Review of the Online Therapy Service Betterhelp
  • Where to Look for Help for Social Anxiety
  • How to Lower Your Anxiety by Helping Other People

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How to Talk to Someone with Anxiety



Here are some of my favorite social anxiety tools

Thanks for reading! I hope you found some helpful tips. Since this site is about social anxiety, I wanted to also share some tools I use that I hope you’ll find helpful. Some of these are affiliate links, so if you decide to try them, I’ll earn a commission. However, I only recommend things I have used myself and would recommend to a friend or family member.

Online Therapy: For online therapy, I have personally used and like the service offered by Betterhelp. It's easy to get started from the comfort of your home. You'll even get a discount on your first month of therapy when you use my link.

Doctor Visits: For doctor visits, Web Doctors offers convenient online appointments.

Audible Subscription: I recommend a lot of self-help books on this site, but I actually prefer an audiobook subscription over print books! My favorite subscription service is Audible because it has all the best-sellers and they stay in your digital library forever (even if you end your subscription). You can sign up for a free trial and listen to your first two books for free.

Social Anxiety Masterclass: The Social Anxiety Masterclass is my signature course where I walk you through everything I know about how to manage social anxiety. If you're not ready to enroll in the course, be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter to hear about special deals!

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: active listening, conversation skills, helping someone with anxiety, talking about anxiety, what to say to someone with social anxiety

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Hi there, my name is Arlin. I help you stop worrying what people think so you can live the life you want. You can learn more about me here.

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