5 Tips for Being Happy Even if You Are Alone
While being alone because of social anxiety might make you feel down, it is possible to figure out how to feel happy alone. Although it may seem that you need to have a significant other, a best friend, a large social circle—while you’re working on those things, it’s important to know how to be happy alone.
True happiness does not come from anything on the outside anyway. Happiness is something that you need to be able to find even if you find yourself alone.
One way to be happy alone is to focus on the needs of other people. When you spend time working on improving the lives of others, you also experience deep satisfaction that is not available when you concentrate only on your own needs.
First, focus on the needs of the people that you live with. When you help to meet their needs, they will be more inclined to help meet yours. Having someone else give you what you want is a lot more fun than simply demanding it or taking it.
Next, focus on the needs of the people you work with. Doing so will make the whole work atmosphere more pleasant. Even a nasty person can be tamed by observing the little things he or she needs and providing them.
Volunteering is another very satisfying way of helping others if you feel alone. It gives you a sense of accomplishment while at the same time serving a need in the community. When choosing to volunteer, make sure that the type of work that you do fits well with your personality and interests. When a volunteer position is a good fit for you, you will also benefit from the work that you do.
The good life doesn’t necessarily have to mean a life filled with hundreds of social media friends. Remember, even if you have all those friends, it doesn’t matter if you’re not engaged with them in real life.
Family and relationships are important in life but it’s best to spend time enjoying the simplest of pleasures. Imagine a simple campfire, some hot dogs and marshmallows, and a starlit night. Happiness can come from some of the simplest things in life. When you start to appreciate this, you might find yourself less alone in the future.
Be in the Moment
Often we spend too much time dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. The truth is, we all live in the here and now, and the present is really what we should all focus on.
Savor your next meal. Hear the birds outside. Listen to your child when she speaks to you.
Happiness can be found in the smallest moments if we all just slow down a little and breathe. Be in the moment and let the happiness of small things overwhelm you. You can’t control the fact that you are alone, so let go of it for now.
Let Go of Control
At times life will hand you some stuff that you really don’t want to deal with. Friends will stop texting you. Your relationship might fall apart. What sets apart the happy people from everyone else when these things happen? Happiness is not about external things; it comes from within.
Once you’ve mastered the art of happiness, you can call upon it even in the direst of circumstances. For a more complete understanding of this concept, I suggest Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl was a psychologist who survived the Holocaust and writes about how to control how you feel when everything in your life is out of your control.
Stop Thinking of Happiness as a Destination
You’re not a passenger on a train waiting to get to a happy place where you have the friends you want, the relationship you desire, and the social status that eludes you.
There is no value in fantasizing about the future while you’re not happy in the moment. It’s when you start to see the happiness in the moment you are in (even while alone), that the friendships and relationship you are hoping for will start to appear.