Simple Tips to Help You Create an Alter ego and Overcome Social Anxiety
Creating an alter ego is one way to break free from the box that you’ve found yourself in with respect to social anxiety or just life in general.
In essence, it’s a way to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in life.
Why Try Creating an Alter Ego?
Our minds are funny things—they can’t distinguish between what we tell them is real and what’s actually real.
This means that whatever situation you are in, what you tell yourself about it is probably more important than what’s actually going on.
In turn, this affects how we act and react, because we act and feel in accordance with how we imagine ourselves to be.
Once you realize this, you should also realize that your imagination is the most powerful tool you have.
If thoughts create your reality, and your mind can’t discern between reality and what you tell yourself about a situation, then you have the power to change. In fact, you always had the power, all along.
An alter ego allows you to focus on a positive future, challenge assumptions about yourself and your life, and avoid falling into predictable patterns.
It can also help you to lighten up and have some fun when you set yourself free from the limits that you and other people have placed on you with their expectations.
It’s time to live out a better version of yourself.
To step out of your comfort zone.
And to make life more fun.
Are you ready?
Dealing With the Critics
Most people with social anxiety fear taking risks because they might “look stupid,” or people might laugh.
“Who do you think you are?”
“You can’t do that”
“What will people think?”
“What if I fail?”
This is where your alter ego can step in. Because your alter ego doesn’t care, isn’t afraid, and thinks challenges are exciting, not scary.
“Let them think what they want.”
“At least I tried.”
Calling on your alter ego lets you silence the critics. And don’t kid yourself, the biggest critic is actually you—not anyone around you.
(Interested to learn more about creating an alter ego? Watch the video below with Todd Herman, high-performance coach and author of the book The Alter Ego Effect)
Making the Most of it When Creating an Alter Ego
Whatever is lacking or missing in your life, your alter ego has in theirs. You’ll see this when you work on the journaling prompts I’ve listed below.
She dreams big and lives the life you’ve always imagined. It’s a life beyond your wildest dreams. Your alter ego helps you to push past fear. Whatever situation you are in, imagine what this higher version of yourself would do.
Figuring Out What You Want in Life
Focusing on your present circumstances only creates more of the same. To move beyond that, you need to imagine something really fantastic, in detail.
You need to be able to imagine and believe in a future that is different than the one you are currently in.
In a way, your alter ego is a role model for the life you want to live. Except, unlike any role model in the real world, you can create the alter ego to have your perfect life.
Remember to aim for the stars.
1. Imagine your ideal physical health, mental health, relationship status, economic status, living situation, etc. Write down details of this new life, both macro and micro level. Spend five minutes a day brainstorming what you want in life. You’ll know you’ve found it when you feel inspired and invigorated by what you’ve written down.
2. Figure out where you are now, in relation to this life.
Creating an Alter Ego
Time to get out your journal and a pen!
1. What is your alter ego’s name?
2. What does she do for a living?
3. Who are her friends?
4. What is her personality?
5. What are her political views?
6. How does she dress?
7. How does she walk?
8. Does she have any mannerisms?
9. What does her voice sound like?
10. What is her hairstyle?
These are just a list of suggestions. Feel free to continue adding more details as they come to you.
1. Sometimes you will need to call upon your alter ego. To help you with this, find a way to invoke your alter ego with a cue, mantra, or call-to-action. For example, wear a pendant necklace and hold it in your hand while saying a phrase such as “Calling on Wonder Woman” (or whatever name you’ve given yourself).
2. Once you’ve called upon your alter ego, act according to how you would expect her to handle the situation you are in.
3. Create a list of goals for yourself, by calling upon your alter ego and considering what she would aim to achieve.
Putting Your Alter Ego Into Practice
Taking on your alter ego means not feeling constrained by who you’ve been in the past, who others think you are, or who you think you’re meant to be. Dream your wildest dreams today and step into the role of your alter ego.
Creating an alter ego and stepping into that person’s shoes stretches who you can become. Maybe your alter ego doesn’t have the fears you have. Maybe your alter ego thinks it’s fun to talk to strangers or loves the challenge of giving a speech.
Here are some things you can do to draw out your alter ego:
- Wear an item that reminds you of your alter ego. For example, a t-shirt. Every time you notice the item, it should remind you that you’re acting as if you are your alter ego today.
- Imagine what your alter ego would do in terms of health today and then do it. That might mean tackling a challenging workout or eating only the healthiest foods today.
- Behave in social interactions how you imagine your alter ego would behave.
- Make decisions throughout the day by consulting what your alter ego would do.
- Wear clothes that your alter ego would wear.
- Speak the way you think your alter ego would speak.
- Style your hair the way your alter ego would.
- Walk the way your alter ego would walk.
- Anything else you can think of that would be acting like your alter ego!
One last thing. Today, I want you to do do something fun that your normal self would never do, but your alter ego wouldn’t think twice about.
Get as silly as you want about this, it’s meant to not be taken seriously.
What is the one thing you think you can’t do, for whatever reason? If you find yourself at some point telling yourself “I can’t do that,” you’ve found what it is. Go do it today.