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About Social Anxiety

About Social Anxiety

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How to Cope with Being Alone on Your Birthday

July 29, 2020 by Arlin Cuncic, M.A.

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*This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you choose to purchase through links I provide (at no extra cost to you). Please see my disclosure policy. If you need help finding a mental health professional, call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit BetterHelp to chat with a licensed therapist for an affordable price.

What to Do If You Are Spending Your Birthday Alone

Are you facing being alone on your birthday because of your social anxiety? Just because you will be alone, that does not mean that you have to be lonely.

It’s best to work on overcoming your social anxiety. But in the meantime, here are some ideas of ways you can get through your birthday alone (and feel okay about it).

Get Creative

Sometimes the best way to feel less lonely is to become so involved in a project that you completely forget about what was wrong.

(*Note: We all know social anxiety can be hard to manage. This book on Amazon is the best I have found to deal directly with the problem. Listen for free with your 30-day trial of Audible.)

Ideas of creative activities include cooking/baking, building something (like a decor item or furniture), writing in a journal or doing creative writing, and doing art therapy projects.

Escape

Ahh, what could be better than escaping into a good movie or TV series?

I tend to watch the same movies over and over (so if you’ve got any good suggestions for me, feel free to leave them in the comments!).

But, I also like getting hooked on one series, because it gives you something to look forward to.

Whether you actually go to the theater to see a show (and push your comfort zone), rent a movie, watch Netflix, or watch on Amazon Prime (I love their selection!), try to choose something lighthearted that will give you a mental boost.

Plan a DIY Mental Health Retreat

What’s a DIY mental health retreat? Essentially, you block off an entire weekend (Friday to Sunday) and put together an agenda of activities for yourself.

It’s similar to what you would experience if you went to an in-person mental health retreat.

In fact, I think this could be the perfect way to treat yourself if you’re alone or feeling lonely on your birthday.

Choose the weekend closest to the day of your birthday. Then, use the retreat planner I provide to create a customized retreat filled with all the activities and tools you need to replenish yourself.

Give Yourself a Gift

How can you celebrate your own birthday? One idea is to make sure to give yourself a gift.

Rather than hope that you will receive gifts from others, make your birthday the one day of the year when you treat yourself to something that you’ve been putting off.

Something that benefits your mental health as well would be a good choice.

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For example, you could purchase a piece of anxiety jewelry, or sign up for a subscription service through Cratejoy.

You don’t need to sign up for a monthly service if that’s not in your budget. Simply sign up to receive a special gift on your birthday.

My favorite Cratejoy subscription is Therabox, because it is curated by therapists and includes all the things to support your mental health.

Get Exercise

Exercise is known to alleviate a low mood. If feeling lonely on your birthday is also making you feel depressed, getting outside and moving could be the answer.

You could go for a hike somewhere that you’ve never been before and appreciate the chance to be in nature.

Alternatively, other options might include signing up for a yoga class, going to the gym (or joining a gym if you haven’t already), doing an online exercise class, doing some laughter yoga, or committing to completely changing your physical fitness by your next birthday.

Think this is impossible for you?

You might be inspired by the story of Instagram influencer Joan MacDonald.

At 70+ years of age and weighing nearly 200 pounds (and being totally out of shape), an overweight Joan embarked on a path to completely transform her body and her life.

Escape Your Comfort Zone

One of the best ways to get through social anxiety is to gradually face the things that cause you fear.

Is there something you’d really like to do, but you feel like you can’t or that your social anxiety is holding you back?

Today might be the day you go out and do it.

This might mean going to eat in a restaurant alone, getting a tattoo, or signing up for a workshop on how to make birdhouses—only you know what lights you up and fires you up.

Be sure to pick something that makes you feel a bit anxious but also a lot excited.

Then channel that excitement to the point that it becomes more important than the anxiety.

(Watch the video below for some fun ideas on how to spend your birthday alone)

Related: 50 Things to Do to Get out of Your Comfort Zone

Read a Book

If you prefer to have a calm birthday at home, get your reading list ready and dive in.

You could visit the local library or order a print book online.

If you prefer audiobooks, you could sign up for a 30-day free trial with  Amazon’s Audible. The service gives you access to the Audible library plus one audiobook of your choice each month.

If you prefer to read books on a Kindle, iPad, or another device, sign up for  Kindle Unlimited.

You’ll get a 30-day free trial and then pay a low monthly fee to access unlimited digital books.

Choose at least one fiction and one non-fiction book. This will give you a good balance between escape and self-help.

My personal favorite among the subscription services is Audible, because you can trade in any book for a new one whenever you like.

You can also get a 30-day trial with Audible when you sign up and start listening for FREE!

Practice Guided Meditation

Looking to chill out and feel more zen on your birthday? I love guided meditations as a way to calm the mind, feel like you’ve escaped for a bit, and get answers to deep questions you’ve been struggling with.

It’s easy enough to find pretty much any type of guided meditation you could want on Youtube.

Learn About EFT

EFT stands for the Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s a practice similar to acupressure that has gained popularity in the treatment of some mental health disorders.

I’ve written more about EFT in this post as well as shared the person who I think is best to follow for EFT guidance on social anxiety.

Practice Gratitude

Need a little brightening up on your birthday?

In this post about gratitude, I share with you a sunburst gratitude worksheet that you can complete over the course of a month. But you could easily adapt this to be a birthday activity.

Simply fill out each ray of the sun on the worksheet with something you are grateful for that day.

Remember—happiness generally needs to come from within.

If you rely solely on outside factors to bring you happiness, then your happiness level will go up and down like the stock market in the middle of a national crisis.

Reach Out So You Don’t Spend Another Birthday Alone

If you are feeling lonely, sometimes the best antidote is to actually reach out to other people.

I know this can feel hard if you have social anxiety, but I promise you that if you take baby steps it will get easier.

Just send a text, email, or Facebook message to someone whom you know might need a cheerful note.

I hope that I’ve given you some ideas to get you started thinking about how to make your birthday less lonely!

Whether you get creative, escape, plan a DIY mental health retreat, buy yourself a gift, exercise, escape your comfort zone, read books, practice guided meditation, learn about EFT, practice gratitude, or reach out, I hope you’ll realize that there many ways to spend a birthday alone without feeling lonely.

How do you celebrate your birthday if you are alone? Let me know in the comments below.

Related Articles about Loneliness

  • How to Be Happy Alone
  • How to Spend Easter Alone
  • How to Manage Being Alone on New Year’s Eve

WANT TO REMEMBER THIS? SAVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU ARE ALONE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

Birthday cake with text overlay - Things to Do When You Are Alone on Your Birthday

How to Cope with Being Alone on Your Birthday



Here are some of my favorite social anxiety tools

Thanks for reading! I hope you found some helpful tips. Since this site is about social anxiety, I wanted to also share some tools I use that I hope you’ll find helpful. Some of these are affiliate links, so if you decide to try them, I’ll earn a commission. However, I only recommend things I have used myself and would recommend to a friend or family member.

Online Therapy: For online therapy, I have personally used and like the service offered by Betterhelp. It's easy to get started from the comfort of your home. You'll even get a discount on your first month of therapy when you use my link.

Doctor Visits: For doctor visits, Web Doctors offers convenient online appointments.

Audible Subscription: I recommend a lot of self-help books on this site, but I actually prefer an audiobook subscription over print books! My favorite subscription service is Audible because it has all the best-sellers and they stay in your digital library forever (even if you end your subscription). You can sign up for a free trial and listen to your first two books for free.

Social Anxiety Masterclass: The Social Anxiety Masterclass is my signature course where I walk you through everything I know about how to manage social anxiety. If you're not ready to enroll in the course, be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter to hear about special deals!

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Hi there, my name is Arlin. I help you stop worrying what people think so you can live the life you want. You can learn more about me here.

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