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Alone on Valentine’s Day (10 Ways to Feel Less Lonely)

February 12, 2021 by Arlin Cuncic, M.A.

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*This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you choose to purchase through links I provide (at no extra cost to you). Please see my disclosure policy. If you need help finding a mental health professional, call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit BetterHelp to chat with a licensed therapist for an affordable price.

How to Spend Valentine’s Alone

Are you going to be alone on Valentine’s day? When the most romantic holiday of the year is fast approaching, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you are the only one who is single on Valentine’s day. This can be especially true if you live with social anxiety.

If your anxiety is holding you back from meeting someone or building a relationship, being single on Valentine’s Day can amplify your feelings of being alone.

It’s important to remember at this time of year that Valentine’s Day is just a manufactured holiday that you can choose to participate in or not. As much as it might feel like you are the odd man out and everyone else is in a couple, the truth is that it’s just another day out of the year.

(*Note: We all know social anxiety can be hard to manage. This book on Amazon is the best I have found to deal directly with the problem. Listen for free with your 30-day trial of Audible.)

Along those lines, I’ve compiled 10 things to do to feel less lonely if you are single on Valentine’s Day.

Unplug From Social Media

One of the worst things you can do if you are already feeling bad about your situation is to hang out on social media all day. In fact, spending too much time on social media can increase sadness and lower well-being. Remember: everyone is showing you their best side.

Yes you might see lots of happy couples extolling the virtues of their relationships, and sure some of them might actually be that happy–but as a whole what you are seeing is not an accurate depiction of reality.

To deal with this illusion, try staying unplugged for the day.

Don’t go on Facebook, Instagram, or whatever social media channel you know will make you feel bad about yourself. There are lots of days out of the year when you can practice feeling happy for other people’s successes; today isn’t the day.

Make Plans to Go Somewhere

Let’s face it: staying home might feel like what you really want to do today, but how will it make you feel in the long run? You’re better off making plans to get out of the house if you know that you will just be moping around.

Make plans to go somewhere, even if it’s just for a hike outdoors or to pick up some books from your local library. I know these things might be hard to do if you live with social anxiety; if that’s the case, start small!

Just go for a walk around the block or somewhere else you feel safe. The point is to do something so you don’t feel like you are being left behind today.

Do Something Un-Romantic

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you have to plan romantic things to do on Valentine’s Day; totally not the case! Why not do things that are anti-Valentine’s just to show yourself that it’s just another day?

Interested in challenging your social anxiety?

Consider hosting an anti-Valentine’s Day party for other friends who are single on Valentine’s Day (in person or over Zoom.

Take advantage of a couples deal or package with someone who is just a friend (or do an online class together).

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Play secret Santa with friends who are single on Valentine’s Day (you can even do porch drop-offs if not in person.

Or, plan a “date” with someone who is just a friend (again, it could just be a virtual date).

Help Others

Does it feel like Valentine’s day should be all about you and your significant other? It doesn’t have to be that way.

You can make the day about people other than yourself!

For example, you could babysit for a couple who never has any alone time. You could visit an elderly person who doesn’t have any family (or drop them a care package). Or, you could plan a romantic dinner for your parents!

(Watch the video below for tips on how to be happy alone!)

Be a Bit Irresponsible

If you’re really feeling down, try being a bit irresponsible on this day.

Throw caution to the wind and go on a shopping spree (budget permitting).

Make small talk with cashiers or other people you meet along the way to beat your social anxiety.

Consider this: you aren’t spending money on Valentine’s gifts or dates like couples are doing. Why not spend that money on yourself?

Yes, this is the opposite of not being selfish. But, if you’ve got a bit of leeway in your budget, why not.

Do Something New

There’s a risk when you are single on Valentine’s Day of falling into the same old rut. Especially if you tend to be alone on this holiday.

One way to deal with this is to break out of your comfort zone and do something completely different.

You could start a new tradition like writing in a gratitude journal. You could get crafty or artsy for the day.

Art therapy is known to help with anxiety! A mandala coloring book or Valentine’s-themed swear word adult coloring book (for the adventurous) might be just what you need to feel better today.

Say Yes Instead of No

Do you feel like Valentine’s has to be about an ongoing relationship? There isn’t any reason why it can’t be the start of something new.

Try saying yes to a blind date you’ve been too nervous to accept. Or, jump on a dating website you’ve been afraid to try out.

Don’t Focus On It

Don’t. Focus. On. It! The more you focus on this holiday and the fact you are alone will reinforce your feeling that there is something wrong with you.

Try not to worry about the fact that you are single on Valentine’s Day. Just make it like any other day of the year

Get Healthy

Make yourself a priority! Just because you don’t have a significant other in your life, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t focus on keeping yourself healthy.

These are things you should be doing for yourself regardless.

You could make a plan to start a new healthy eating plan, sign up for an exercise program, or start an online yoga course. The options are endless regardless of whether you have a small or large budget.

Treat Yourself

It’s one day out of the year. If you’ve followed the rest of the advice in this article, don’t be afraid to treat yourself a little bit.

Maybe that means a movie marathon with the lead role played by your secret crush.

Or it could mean indulging in a favorite dessert, giving yourself a home spa day, dying your hair a new color, or buying yourself a massage chair.

As long as you are working on your anxiety and taking steps to push beyond your comfort zone, there isn’t any reason why you can’t spend a little time on yourself today.

What are you doing if you are alone on Valentine’s Day? Feel free to share with us in the comments.

Related Articles about Valentine’s Day

  • 110 Good First Date Questions
  • How to Decode Body Language
  • How to Manage Eye Contact Anxiety

WANT TO REMEMBER THIS? SAVE 10 THINGS NOT TO DO IF YOU ARE SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY TO YOUR FAVORITE PINTEREST BOARD!

Wine glasses with text overlay - 10 Things to Do If You Feel Lonely on Valentine's Day

Alone on Valentine’s Day (10 Ways to Feel Less Lonely)



Here are some of my favorite social anxiety tools

Thanks for reading! I hope you found some helpful tips. Since this site is about social anxiety, I wanted to also share some tools I use that I hope you’ll find helpful. Some of these are affiliate links, so if you decide to try them, I’ll earn a commission. However, I only recommend things I have used myself and would recommend to a friend or family member.

Online Therapy: For online therapy, I have personally used and like the service offered by Betterhelp. It's easy to get started from the comfort of your home. You'll even get a discount on your first month of therapy when you use my link.

Doctor Visits: For doctor visits, Web Doctors offers convenient online appointments.

Audible Subscription: I recommend a lot of self-help books on this site, but I actually prefer an audiobook subscription over print books! My favorite subscription service is Audible because it has all the best-sellers and they stay in your digital library forever (even if you end your subscription). You can sign up for a free trial and listen to your first two books for free.

Social Anxiety Masterclass: The Social Anxiety Masterclass is my signature course where I walk you through everything I know about how to manage social anxiety. If you're not ready to enroll in the course, be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter to hear about special deals!

Filed Under: Social Skills Tagged With: alone on Valentine's Day, lonely on Valentine's Day, single on Valentine's Day, things to do on Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day social anxiety

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Amanda - Activated Living says

    February 14, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    This was a great read. Self Care is so important, even if you find yourself single it’s always important to take care of yourself. Love your blog!

    Reply
    • Arlin Cuncic says

      February 17, 2019 at 9:05 am

      Absolutely! Holidays tend to stir up emotions, particularly those that remind us of what we feel we are missing in our lives. So, it’s important to be extra nice to ourselves on those days.

      Reply

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