How to Spend Valentine’s Alone
Are you going to be alone on Valentine’s day? When the most romantic holiday of the year is fast approaching, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you are the only one who is single on Valentine’s day. This can be especially true if you live with social anxiety.
If your anxiety is holding you back from meeting someone or building a relationship, being single on Valentine’s Day can amplify your feelings of being alone.
It’s important to remember at this time of year that Valentine’s Day is just a manufactured holiday that you can choose to participate in or not. As much as it might feel like you are the odd man out and everyone else is in a couple, the truth is that it’s just another day out of the year.
Along those lines, I’ve compiled 10 things to do to feel less lonely if you are single on Valentine’s Day.
Unplug From Social Media
One of the worst things you can do if you are already feeling bad about your situation is to hang out on social media all day. In fact, spending too much time on social media can increase sadness and lower well-being. Remember: everyone is showing you their best side.
Yes you might see lots of happy couples extolling the virtues of their relationships, and sure some of them might actually be that happy–but as a whole what you are seeing is not an accurate depiction of reality.
To deal with this illusion, try staying unplugged for the day.
Don’t go on Facebook, Instagram, or whatever social media channel you know will make you feel bad about yourself. There are lots of days out of the year when you can practice feeling happy for other people’s successes; today isn’t the day.
Make Plans to Go Somewhere
Let’s face it: staying home might feel like what you really want to do today, but how will it make you feel in the long run? You’re better off making plans to get out of the house if you know that you will just be moping around.
Make plans to go somewhere, even if it’s just for a hike outdoors or to pick up some books from your local library. I know these things might be hard to do if you live with social anxiety; if that’s the case, start small!
Just go for a walk around the block or somewhere else you feel safe. The point is to do something so you don’t feel like you are being left behind today.
Do Something Un-Romantic
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you have to plan romantic things to do on Valentine’s Day; totally not the case! Why not do things that are anti-Valentine’s just to show yourself that it’s just another day?
Interested in challenging your social anxiety?
Consider hosting an anti-Valentine’s Day party for other friends who are single on Valentine’s Day (in person or over Zoom.
Take advantage of a couples deal or package with someone who is just a friend (or do an online class together).
Play secret Santa with friends who are single on Valentine’s Day (you can even do porch drop-offs if not in person.
Or, plan a “date” with someone who is just a friend (again, it could just be a virtual date).
Does it feel like Valentine’s day should be all about you and your significant other? It doesn’t have to be that way.
You can make the day about people other than yourself!
For example, you could babysit for a couple who never has any alone time. You could visit an elderly person who doesn’t have any family (or drop them a care package). Or, you could plan a romantic dinner for your parents!
(Watch the video below for tips on how to be happy alone!)
Be a Bit Irresponsible
If you’re really feeling down, try being a bit irresponsible on this day.
Throw caution to the wind and go on a shopping spree (budget permitting).
Make small talk with cashiers or other people you meet along the way to beat your social anxiety.
Consider this: you aren’t spending money on Valentine’s gifts or dates like couples are doing. Why not spend that money on yourself?
Yes, this is the opposite of not being selfish. But, if you’ve got a bit of leeway in your budget, why not.
Do Something New
There’s a risk when you are single on Valentine’s Day of falling into the same old rut. Especially if you tend to be alone on this holiday.
One way to deal with this is to break out of your comfort zone and do something completely different.
You could start a new tradition like writing in a gratitude journal. You could get crafty or artsy for the day.
Art therapy is known to help with anxiety! A mandala coloring book or Valentine’s-themed swear word adult coloring book (for the adventurous) might be just what you need to feel better today.
Say Yes Instead of No
Do you feel like Valentine’s has to be about an ongoing relationship? There isn’t any reason why it can’t be the start of something new.
Try saying yes to a blind date you’ve been too nervous to accept. Or, jump on a dating website you’ve been afraid to try out.
Don’t Focus On It
Don’t. Focus. On. It! The more you focus on this holiday and the fact you are alone will reinforce your feeling that there is something wrong with you.
Try not to worry about the fact that you are single on Valentine’s Day. Just make it like any other day of the year
Make yourself a priority! Just because you don’t have a significant other in your life, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t focus on keeping yourself healthy.
These are things you should be doing for yourself regardless.
You could make a plan to start a new healthy eating plan, sign up for an exercise program, or start an online yoga course. The options are endless regardless of whether you have a small or large budget.
It’s one day out of the year. If you’ve followed the rest of the advice in this article, don’t be afraid to treat yourself a little bit.
Maybe that means a movie marathon with the lead role played by your secret crush.
Or it could mean indulging in a favorite dessert, giving yourself a home spa day, dying your hair a new color, or buying yourself a massage chair.
As long as you are working on your anxiety and taking steps to push beyond your comfort zone, there isn’t any reason why you can’t spend a little time on yourself today.
What are you doing if you are alone on Valentine’s Day? Feel free to share with us in the comments.
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